Fly The Flag: Stick The Sticker!

First things first, I’m Irish. I’ve lived in England almost all of my life and I like it here. Next, Ireland’s failure to get to the finals was in part down to an awful refereeing decision and the never endingly perplexing stance on 18 yard box technology generally, goal line technology particularly. Last: I shall be supporting England in the World Cup.
We in the U.K have been through some pretty challenging times and with many others I suspect that they’re far from over. A recent poll in LinedIn suggested that there was a strong belief (around 81% of respondent if I remember correctly) that things were likely to remain uncertain in the Global Economy for a while.
There hasn’t been too much to smile about over the last 20 months or so and it is clear that there are some bruising encounters ahead for people who may have previously thought their job to be secure, their future safe and subsequent plans in place. The jarring reality is that this is not, for the vast majority of us, the case.
The World Cup? A chance for people to park, just for a while, the fears and anxieties they’re dealing with and get behind the England Team. It’s been great to see the Cross of St George flying as the anticipation builds, good to read articles on how managers may wish to implement some flexible working arrangements for the period and uplifting to feel “part of the party”.
Today I read that the party has been pooped. Enterprise, the major Public Service contractor has, it would seem, informed its employees that stickers must not be stuck to or flags flown from any of its vehicles because of Health & Safety issues, stating that the Health & safety of their employees, customers and the general public is paramount. Good for them.
It would be very wrong to jeopardise the well being of the population by allowing a refuse collection lorry to fly an England flag. Do these people not realise that a sudden change in wind-speed or direction may have an adverse effect on handling and vehicle stability? In cities and rural communities, the hitherto unheard of sound of a flag, flapping on the wind of progress from a vehicle may inflict trauma on hens and hoodies alike.
Stickers in windscreens too present a hazard that is almost incalculable in its potential to cause multi vehicle pile ups from motorway to middle England as vast tracts of the driver’s vision are obliterated by massively intrusive ermmmm….stickers.
Given the hard times we’ve been through and the tough challenges ahead, I wonder if it would be alright, just for a few weeks, to let people enjoy themselves in a relatively harmless expression of national unity and purpose. I know some will take it too far and make the headlines for all the wrong reasons; life is a bit like that at Christmas and New Year too. I’m convinced though that the majority of us will enjoy the life, get involved with the competition and bring some “feel good” back into our lives generally and the workplace specifically.
I know it’s not for everyone; that shouldn’t mean that we can’t all benefit in someway from the sense of unity and hopefully pride and success that waits. Maybe, Enterprise, you might wish to reconsider your decision and do the grown up thing: issue your drivers with flags for their vehicles and a windscreen sticker that suits, together with a full set of instructions!

Emotional Intelligence, Football Managers, the Sack and the Press

Not a combination you’d probably expect to find!
Gianfranco Zola was sacked as manager of West Ham United at the beginning of this week, 10th May 2010.
A change of owners at his club would suggest that he was more rather than less likely to exit, given that the club had underperformed. Injuries to key players, others not performing to expectations and financial uncertainty in the background: factors I’m sure we’re either used to or about to become more familiar than we’d like.
“Relieved of duties”, “We thank him and wish him well”. There are no easy platitudes or euphemisms that disguise the brutal fact-sacked.
The press took themselves off to his house in Kent, and as almost always is the case, Zola emerged smiling to meet the press core. He told them that he could say nothing about his sacking –legal proceedings to follow and proceeded to pour some coffee he had made for them. “I can’t talk to you about the sack, but I can offer you some coffee”.
The press are an understandably hard nosed bunch, yet on that day at that moment all present seemed to be disarmed and charmed by a generous man who, though he could not give them what they wanted, was able to show concern and care for, not “the press core” but for other human beings with a job to do.
This investment in the well-being of others will see him in good stead, the lasting reminder of a smiling, polite and open man who, when at the bottom of a pretty deep pit, was still able to engage with others in a manner that further underpins their collective respect towards him.
We all have our bad days, sometimes we can lock ourselves away, sometimes we have to go out and put on the bravest of faces and share what is good and worthwhile whilst acknowledging that right now and at this time, we’re not in the best of places.

Cook Your Way To Social & Emotional Intelligence

Is there a link between the work I do with young people in schools and other company activities? I'd like to think so. We have built high quality working relationships with schools that purchase a service from us, delivering individual mentoring programmes to more generic support to young people, their teachers and mentors. This means that there opportunities to try something different.

I had delivered a piece of work to a group of year 8 & 9 boys. Their profiles were familiar enough-quarrelsome, poor concentration spans and a series of risk/vulnerability factors. We had talked a lot and made efforts to help them prepare to take a higher degree of responsibility for and ownership of the image they project to others.

Talk is fine but it's actions that count and with this in mind I suggested to them that they might consider choosing the ingredients for, preparing, coking and serving a Christmas Meal for some of their teachers and mentors. We had to restrict it to eight. Their invitation list included the Head Teacher, Assistant Head and two members of the Senior Management Team. Learning Mentors and a subject specialist were also invited.

We shopped, they chose and stayed within budget. We met the following day and working to a tight timescale, produced the meal-ably and enthusiastically led by a Senior Support Assistant who clearly enjoys a first class, respect led relationship with the lads.
They did it! They cooked and served a 3 course Christmas Meal. There was, I think, a considerable amount of emotion around the table: what had taken place was much bigger than the sum of its parts and at what still, in spite of financially pressed times, commercialism and cynicism, Christmas remains an important time of year every adult around the table received an unexpected gift when the Head Teacher asked the lads what they would take away from and remember about the occasion. Although all the food had been eaten, several of us swallowed very hard one one of the cooks said "Your faces when we served the meal."

How does this link to our other activities? Well, reputations get tarnished, we are all capable of huge acts of self sabotage and we sometimes need an opportunity to prove to others that there is more to us than the day to day, sometimes highly reactive exposure we have to each other. When this opportunity arises, it needs to be witnessed and affirmed by respected others who need to hear the perceived impact of "doing things better and differently". Whether as a Coach, Mediator, Teacher, Mentor, there are experiences that occur daily that mean as much in one context as they do in another. I drove away that evening with much more in my heart and soul than I had arrived with earlier or dreamed possible. For not the first time, the Coach was coached, the Teacher was taught and the Mediator was not needed when this leap of faith was taken.

Mediation Tools & Approaches

Mediation Tools & Approaches: "docs"

Safeguarding Children: The Importance of Training

I'm certain readers share the sense of shock that surrounds the Plymouth Nursery Worker who abused her position and the trust that went with it, abusing children for the gratification of herself and others. Vanessa George gained the trust of the families she met professionally and was invited to baby-sit for them at evenings and week-ends.
For those families who granted her access to their children, access based on trust and good-intention, I find it hard to imagine the sense of outrage, betrayal and guilt they may feel.
We are currently delivering Safeguarding Training to Trainee Teachers and other members of the Children's Workforce at a local university. The section on safe practice invites trainees to suspend disbelief; the disbelief that would be abusers would seek employment within the Children's Workforce specifically to gain access to children and their families and that in doing so they seek positions that combine trust and power.
It's a difficult and challenging session-not always easy to hear but nonetheless one that I feel has a vital role to play in increasing the awareness of all concerned on the sorts of opportunities paedophiles will seek to exploit in order to gain access to their targets.

From The Heart

We very recently carried out a day's development and training delivering our "Conflict to Confidence" programme to a training organisation that engages with disaffected 14-16 year olds and delivers Entry to Employment and Apprenticeship training to groups with high risk and vulnerability factors.
Part of the programme asks participants to develop a "Two of Us In a Lift" conversation; the premise of which is to as participants to think of someone who they admire, would like to meet and to imagine that you are in a lift with this person-they ask you "What do you do for a living, what makes it the right job for you?" You have 60 seconds to reply and get your message across. When I've delivered this before I've had some really interesting, comical and sometime raunchy characters make their way into the lift-all great fun. This time was made different by 3 participants, two of who chose their deceased fathers as the person they would most want to tell how well they'd done and what they'd achieved. A third chose his grandfather, a stroke victim whose speech has been affected-he wanted the chance to have a "real" conversation with him.
Presenting programmes is great-it's one of the very best parts of our work. This occasion was a powerful reminder of the worth of "Good Work" in contributing to our awareness of who we are and what we stand for in an often difficult and challenging world.

Use of Praise-Worth It or Too Soft and Fluffy?

The idea of praise “for everyone and for everything” detracts from the need to (apologies to Bill Rogers) to “be caught doing good.” The manner in which acknowledgement/praise is delivered would seem to be critical to its success. I have experienced young people who would rather chew broken glass coated with cyanide than be singled out for praise-however this does not mean that they are incapable of or unwilling to respond when their achievements are acknowledged in a manner consistent with their wants and need. Maybe like criticism, praise sometimes needs to be softly spoken.
I despair of the rose tinted rear-view mirror view of the past. Forty years ago I attended a Birmingham Comprehensive school that had its fair share of staff that would use this approach regularly and often. It achieved absolutely nothing. Staff who gained respect gained it because of their ability to create and work within clear boundaries that included a proportionate response to challenge in the context of a firm, fair and friendly approach to the pupils.
Like it or not, the use of praise needs to figure on a continuum of approaches that acknowledge both wanted and unwanted behaviour,
Our company delivers esteem raising programmes to learners who may have “slipped below the “praise radar”, have low aspirations and are achieving below potential. The proportionate use of praise combined by work with and support of the workforce (Learning Mentors, Behaviour Managers) has made an impact-sustainability is a further and different challenge.
I welcome approaches that allow us to “build up credit” in the learner’s emotional bank and model relationships that recognise the importance of calibrating success and confronting unwanted behaviour.