Six Ways To Destroy Yourself: Regularly and Often

I was going to attend a Business Networking Meeting today and can’t: I have had to re-prioritise a couple of things that have to be in place by next Monday and that’s it. So what to do? Telephone my friend and associate T and tell him that “I can’t make it and here’s why. ” Do I enjoy this kind of call? No, and I wrestle with my sense of letting myself and others down. I do understand though that there is a greater loss if I fail to complete on the other tasks-due next week and running late. So, a call to make and a blog to write.


I thought I’d use today’s example as one of the ways in which we occasionally tear ourselves to bits. Competing priorities are only part of it. A more difficult challenge is “What do our decisions say about us?” Well, here’s the rub: “Is it better to make an early decision and state that this can not be done, or is more desirable to turn up, rushed, distracted and pre-occupied: which is the more damaging message and which will, in the course of time, cause more reputational harm?” So, I’ll work through today and resolve the outstanding priorities and bear in mind as I’m doing so, they are reasons, not excuses.


I picked up a copy of Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” -timeless and sure footed in its message-you need to be active and positive in the manner in which you engage with the world and the people in it. He gives-in a nutshell-Six Ways To Make People Like You and I love the simplicity of the message. Here they are:


Principle 1


Become genuinely interested in other people
Principle 2


Smile
Principle 3


Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language
Principle 4


Be a good listener, encourage people to talk about themselves
Principle 5


Talk in terms of the other persons interests
Principle 6


Make the other person feel important-and do it sincerely
OR


Self Destruct Principle 1


Others don’t matter, they have little to say that’s of any interest unless you feel you can make a few quid, dollars, euro out of them. Beyond that their lives are 1 dimensional and beneath your contempt.


Self Destruct Principle 2


Smiling is for sycophants who honestly believe that their ingratiating fawning will work. Think yourself as a player in a world-wide poker game in which any betrayal of emotion will lose all you’ve gained, making you vulnerable and beaten, add into the equation an air of mystery and inscrutability-practice these expressions in the mirror (not the one in your car-others will think there’s something the matter with you-and if you’re doing this, there probably is!) Try your new found skills at your next meeting social gathering: bring something to read.


Self Destruct Principle 3


Just tell other people this, “I’m bad at names, I meet so many important people in the course of a day I have to prioritise my brain-space, so remind me; who are you again?” This I find is a brilliant way to secure seclusion, tranquillity and ultimately, poverty.


Self Destruct Principle 4


Learn how to feign attention, interrupt and tell people about something you’ve done that is more exciting, has earned more money or has demonstrated how smart you are. Combined with Self Destruct Principle 3 above, this becomes a powerful strategy that ensure that people will never forget you. They might not want to remember you but that’s not the point.


Self Destruct Principle 5


Other people’s interests are just that: they are other people and therefore consigned to the midden of “dull and pointless”. What of course, they are really waiting for is to hear about you.


Self Destruct


It’s much more important that other people understand how important you are: you might forget them abut they must not be allowed to forget you. The above Five Principles, applied singly, in combination or (and why not go for it?) all together will leave an indelible impression on those lucky enough to have met you.


Good Luck!

Premise:

The August riots-a tragedy in their own right-have presented a golden opportunity to an ever-present mob of reactionary voices that all too easily fall into a time-worn, clichéd dialogue containing the following key words and phrases:

• Back to basics
• Respect
• Discipline
• Punishment
• Do gooders
• Trendy Teaching

I’m pretty sure you catch my drift!

Here’s some information gleaned from the Pimlico Academy-a transformed school that did a a few pretty straight forward things.

1. They decided what they were there for and told everybody in six straight forward sentences.
2. They set up a great pastoral system-a house system that worked well because it emphasised the importance of learning and behaviour and did something about it when things started to slip
3. A strong tutorial system and after school support-access to specialist teachers and boosters
4. A strong sense of corporate identity with a uniform-grants for families who were struggling to afford one.
5. A Firm, Fair and Followed disciplinary system
6. A rewards system that acknowledges an celebrates progress in behaviour.

Outcome :

The number of pupils achieving five A*-C grades at GCSE (including maths and English) was 60 per cent in 2010/11, up from 36 per cent in 2007/08.

At the end of the 2010/11 school year, attendance was 94.3 per cent for years 7 to 11, compared to 78.3 per cent in 2009/10.

Staff absenteeism has halved since the introduction of the new measures thanks to reduced stress and pressure on teachers.

In the first year that the rewards system was introduced, there were no permanent exclusions. The following year there was only one.

Prior to the rewards system, 50 to 60 pupils were sent out of lessons each day. Now it is fewer than 10 and they are normally sent out for less serious reasons than was previously the case. Overall there has been a huge change in the atmosphere in the school, maintains Holt: “The staff are happier, the students are happier and the school is basically a much nicer place to be.”

The above takes a little more thinking through the simplistic rantings of “Put the teacher back in charge” and it sits comfortably with my view-if you want respect you need to earn it-power and authority are given and received, not enforced and tolerated and, without consensus we’re nowhere.

This doesn’t mean that we “hand over control to the kids”-it means for me that life is far more subtle and nuanced than  ”Do as I say or else,” and the sooner we establish learning cultures that transmit those values, the better it will be for kids, their families and teachers and wider society.

We have, as part of our professional portfolio a considerable depth of experience working in schools and colleges on behaviour related issues. Our experience would bear out the key elements of the above and we are happy to discuss this here or by contacting us directly at enquiries@coadyconsultants.co.uk

Listening and Acting On Workforce Voices

Premise


Can listening to and engaging with a workforce make a positive contribution-we believe it can as long as it is honest, authentic and can show that a "difference for the better" has emerged. We also believe that this will work in any organisation-large or small-providing the process is well managed.


Here are 3 areas for consideration

1. Principles
2. Benefits
3. Challenges

Principles of Listening to Workforce Voices:


o Mutual respect given and received between and within the workforce 
o All adults have equal worth in the workplace
o Communication is open, honest, valued and provides an exchange of ideas and views between workforce
o Investment in the future – accepting that all members of workforce are entitled to express their views about things which will affect and determine their future
o Meaningful active involvement where any decisions about workforce are made with them
o Working relationships are sustainable, effective and responsive
o Equal opportunities exist for workforce to be involved in a range of activities/development processes
o Workforce participation, involvement and voice are continually evaluated and reviewed.


Benefits of Listening to Workforce Voices:


o Gives additional information and insight into what the workforce thinks of structures/management etc
o Helps to strengthen partnerships between workforce and management
o Helps workforce members work out what is best for themselves and their colleagues
o Enables the workforce to gain better understanding of the things that really matter to colleagues
o Helps to create a listening environment
o All workforce members feel valued, respected and treated like equals
o Helps to develop reflective thinking 
o Increased confidence, self esteem and aspirations
o Enables the workforce to become more motivated to get involved in their jobs 
o Strengthens the feeling of community
o Develops teamwork
o Promotes more creative thinking
o Increases effective communication between workforce 


Challenges of Listening to Workforce Voices 


o Some of the workforce may be anxious about criticism of their work/leadership/communication skills
o Some of the workforce may be wary of the unpredictability of comments and views
o Some of the workforce may have reservations about voicing their opinions/blame culture
o Some of the workforce may worry about the loss of authority in their department
o Some of the workforce will not be prepared to accept the opinions of others
o Some of the workforce may use the opportunity to “take over” or dominate discussion areas
o Managing the initiative will call for careful planning/time constraints etc

It Is With Anger and Disbelief!!

The link takes you to an article published about a 16 years old girl called Dana. She had been

• Sexually abused since she was 13
• Groomed for abuse in a classic manner, by someone in authority and with credibility: someone she should have been able to trust
• Removed from what is reported as a successful Foster Placement
• Allocated multiple social workers (12 in 18 months)
• Known to self-harm
• Known to attempt suicide
• Disbelieved

http://tinyurl.com/6dody59

I urge you to follow the link and read the story: whether you work directly with children, young people or vulnerable adults or not, take a couple of minutes and read not only what is said but (crucially), what is left unsaid.

We train professionals in Safeguarding and they are left in no doubt whatsoever as we deliver our programme-believe the child.

Dana found a friend in a trainee teacher who was told by the School’s Child Protection Officer that Dan was an attention seeker.

Without best guessing the outcome of the serious case review it seems that we are once again failing to protect the most vulnerable in spite of a series of what anyone, with the most basic awareness in Safeguarding would recognise as “classic indicators” of a potentially abusive or dangerous situation.

For the trainee teacher who Dana had befriended it is my hope that she/he is able to reconcile that they did the right thing and spoke to the right people: the responsibility for what transpired is shared elsewhere.

A NEW DEVELOPMENT TO MEET OUR PARTNERS’ NEEDS

We now have access to a highly experienced and qualified Children’s Support Worker/Children’s Bereavement Counsellor who brings an extensive background of first-hand experience in supporting Children and Young People traumatic and challenging periods in their lives including:

• Bereavement
• Loss through separation/divorce
• Working with terminally ill Children & Young People
• Working with anger issues

We anticipate that the major benefit to Children, Young People and their Families will be option to access a skilled professional in partnership with their school.
For schools, colleges, academies and training organisations we feel confident that access to this development will enable them to enhance their existing support to young people in distressing circumstances.-we have developed training packages that can be modified to meet your organisation’s needs

Domestic Violence: Child, Young Person or Adult.

Domestic Violence: Child, Young Person or Adult.

Background:

We are about to embark on a launch of our development programme which can be adapted for the all employers, training organisations, schools, academies and colleges and training establishments.

If you would like to find out more about how we could work with you, here are our contact details:

enquiries@coadyconsultants.co.uk 

Telephone 0121-602-7191 (UK)

Mobile 07984409937

or of course, use the comment section on our Blog.

Domestic Violence-Awareness Raising.

Premise

In 2001 women represented 44% of the working age labour force. This figure is set to rise to 48% by 2012. In some specific areas, women will form the majority of the workforce.  It is estimated that 1:4 women will experience domestic violence from men known to them and between 1:8-1:10 will have experienced it within the last year. A woman is at her most vulnerable at the point of leaving a violent relationship.

The Programme

Our programme is drawn from a nationally recognised (Home Office Approved) format providing practical approaches and in doing so establishes:

• Domestic Violence accounts for almost 25% of violent crime
• It crosses social and cultural boundaries
• There are critical events when the targets of domestic violence are at their most vulnerable
• Teachers, Mentors and other colleagues in the Education Workforce may be confided in by parents, carers or co-workers who have been the target of Domestic Violence and are at a point where they need informed assistance
• The targets of Domestic Violence , their colleagues and managers need access to recent information, including signposting to support networks and practical steps for employers
• Misinformed actions or suggestions may exacerbate an already dangerous situation

Members of the Education Workforce are ideally placed to recognise patterns of behaviour that may suggest a child, a parent/carer or an employee is under duress. We believe that we all place worker safety, safeguarding and security at the heart of our Duty of Care to their learners, parents and employees and would wish to develop a positive approach to supporting those who are/have been the targets of domestic violence. We also recognise the impact of Domestic Violence on Learner Achievement, Parental engagement and the investment lost to organisations in terms of skills and expertise when experienced colleagues leave their jobs at short-notice either as a direct or indirect outcome of domestic violence. Our programme will enable participants to

• Acquire a working understanding of the processes targets are subjected to
• Develop overview of perpetrator behaviour
• Understand to support colleagues at the point of disclosure.

Learning Styles

• Participative.
• Presentation & Video Materials (Please note-video materials are “acted” and free from “Shock Tactics”)

From The Heart

We very recently carried out a day's development and training delivering our "Conflict to Confidence" programme to a training organisation that engages with disaffected 14-16 year olds and delivers Entry to Employment and Apprenticeship training to groups with high risk and vulnerability factors.
Part of the programme asks participants to develop a "Two of Us In a Lift" conversation; the premise of which is to as participants to think of someone who they admire, would like to meet and to imagine that you are in a lift with this person-they ask you "What do you do for a living, what makes it the right job for you?" You have 60 seconds to reply and get your message across. When I've delivered this before I've had some really interesting, comical and sometime raunchy characters make their way into the lift-all great fun. This time was made different by 3 participants, two of who chose their deceased fathers as the person they would most want to tell how well they'd done and what they'd achieved. A third chose his grandfather, a stroke victim whose speech has been affected-he wanted the chance to have a "real" conversation with him.
Presenting programmes is great-it's one of the very best parts of our work. This occasion was a powerful reminder of the worth of "Good Work" in contributing to our awareness of who we are and what we stand for in an often difficult and challenging world.

From Conflct to Confidence: Addressing Underachievement

Our Consultancy has been pleased to work in partnership with a number of schools, further education and training organisations in areas related to the behaviour of learners, students and trainees.
We also deliver our own mentoring and coaching programmes, designed to raise the achievements of all learners by addressing some of the “blockers and stoppers” that are preventing progress. We deliver interventions with the intention of raising aspirations and enabling learners and trainees to break out of the truly unhelpful boundaries that exist because of artificially low expectations, lack of confidence and self-belief. We want the young people who work with us to develop realistic expectations that are fun and challenging.
We know that a key element in raising achievement and making progress is the quality of the relationships formed with trusted adults at critical times. I can’t think of any of my current or past associates and friends who are unable to name and recall the positive input made by significant adults throughout their childhood, adolescence and early adulthood.
The Children and Young People Workforce combines the skills of leaders, managers, teachers, lecturers and trainers to delivers its programmes. This important task would be made much more challenging without the contribution of Para-Professionals: Mentors, Learning Assistants, Student & Pupil Support Managers who bring their very special and refined skills to supporting trainees, often with high risk and vulnerability factors, throughout the learning/training process by providing supportive challenge, trust and advocacy.
We also know that some of our most valued colleagues would like an opportunity to meet with others who are involved in similar work, to address specific challenges and to talk about “what works”. Our programme “From Conflict to Confidence” provides a structured framework in which the above and more can be achieved. All participants will have an opportunity to consider how best to deliver their role within an ethically valid framework that considers best practice, the sources of anger and aggression and the importance of a systematic approach to intervention and support, together with an opportunity to receive ongoing support from Coady Consultants Ltd.